Wings, shield and anchor
by AirborneGirl
Summary: What are you willing to give up to have me? Mac's question to Harm during 'Measure of men' gets an answer.


**Wings,** **shield and anchor**

**AN: **It happened again. My mind cooked up a story that just wrote itself, except maybe for the typing. That was me.

**Spoilers**: Alternative for "Measure of men"

**Disclaimer**: I claim temporary amnesia. I know I had DJE somewhere, but where did I put him? Can't give him back when I can't find him, right? Oh well…

_On we go… _

"What are you willing to give up to have me? Mic gave up his country and the Navy. Are you willing to give up Renée for me?"

She threw him a look before leaving him alone with his thought.

For a few minutes, restless, endless minutes, he couldn't move. Glued in the same spot, he didn't even think of following her. It wasn't as if he didn't have an answer to her question. He had that answer for years. But again, she had left before he could think about which way to proceed.

Things were most definitely through with Renée. They were a terrible mismatch from day one and he couldn't even remember why he'd held on to her for as long as he did. Oh, right. He did know. There was a word for it. Substitute.

So that's one part answered. But giving up Renée was only half of the question. She wanted more. She wanted, needed a sign that he was as willing to sacrifice everything he had for her as Mic had been. As if it was a sacrifice at all if you were to have Mac in return. She just needed to hear it.

He found out some time ago that this need of hers was the crux of the matter. It was the most important of all the reasons why things had been so difficult for them, why they hadn't simply said the three little words and gotten it over with.

It was hard getting Mac to love you, to allow herself to love. To be loved. The ability to love was usually installed within your family and even though he'd had to miss his father as a boy, he'd always had other loving people around him. His mom, grandmother and, as he could now admit without hesitation, his stepfather.

Knowing about her rocky past, her loveless childhood, her total lack of self-esteem when the Marine card couldn't be played, he wasn't mad at her for demanding so much of him. Sarah McKenzie the woman had never in her life come first on anybody's list, maybe not even her own. But now, she was on his. She was his everything, his rock, his…

Suddenly he spotted his Aviator Wings on his chest, looking at them as if he saw them for the first time. An idea hit him.

It was risky at best, it could end up with him having nothing, it could mean the abrupt end of his steady rise on the officer's ladder. It could mean he did all of this for nothing. Sarah McKenzie was worth that risk.

Hands shaking slightly, he took the symbol of his entire life's focus off his uniform, putting it next to him while starting up his laptop. Searching within his legal documents, he opened the one he needed. With a sigh, he started typing.

Printing out the result he looked it over and signed it with a definite scratch. Then, feeling his personal words were better put into script when he used his own handwriting, he pulled out a notepad and an envelope. Half an hour later, he called for assistance. A young ensign reported.

"Could you please deliver this personally to Maj…sorry, Lieutenant Colonel McKenzie? And report back to me right away?"

"Yes Sir."

Taking the envelope in one hand, saluting with the other, the boy left in search of the JAG officer.

_Mac's quarters _

She knew she was being unreasonable. But she just couldn't help herself. For whatever had gone wrong between her and Mic, at least he had shown her what he was willing to give up to be with her. And besides the guilt she felt for ending his career, as a woman she was proud and flattered to mean so much to a man. He'd only been the wrong man…

Would Harm ever give up his Video Princess? Would he give up his freedom? His job? Of course, in reality, she didn't want him to, but if only he could show her that he would if he had to. Sure. If only.

A knock on her door disrupted her thoughts, but she was glad for it. They were driving her mad!

"Come in."

A young ensign opened the hatch, saluting and holding out an envelope.

"Colonel McKenzie? Commander Rabb asked me to deliver this to you personally, ma'am."

She nodded and took the envelope, only courtesy for the junior officer holding back her curiosity. Quickly she returned the salute and dismissed him. He left, closing the hatch behind him, once again she found herself alone.

There was something inside besides a note. Letting her inquisitive mind take over, she ripped the paper barrier apart. A very familiar gold en sign fell out, landing heavily in her hand.

Harm's wings. Instantly, she knew what he was trying to say, but she wanted to read the note and the documents that came with it. Her hands were trembling when she unfolded the single piece of stationary.

_Sarah… _

_As is our usual way around each other, you left before I could answer your question. I hope you will take the time to let me answer it now. To start with your last question first: Renée and I are no longer together. She's not a factor in my life any more. _

_That wasn't your initial question, was it? You wanted to know what else I would give up. My answer is with my letter. _

_I would give it all up. Only for you. Before looking at the document enclosed, take a closer look at the wings, dear Sarah. See those wings? You know what they mean to me, what they represent in my life. But only now did I take a closer look myself and I'd like you to follow my thoughts. _

_See the wings on either side? They're the shape of angel's wings. You're the angel Mac. Your smile can make me fly higher then any Tomcat ever could. No plane could match or even come close to the G-force of that smile. _

_See the shield in the middle? That's you too. You're my shield when my past threatens to overpower me, when dark shadows of things gone wrong haunt my memory. Thinking of you in bad moments is my armor. My survival. _

_And the anchor?__ At the risk of repeating myself, you are my anchor. You keep me grounded, keep my aviator ego in check, balance me out when I threaten to go overboard… _

_If I have to choose between losing those wings and the one woman who embodies the same, then that choice is easily made. I'm willing to make it if I have to. In fact, I think I just did. _

_So now it's all up to you. You're currently holding my past and my future in your hands. My choice is made. You make yours. Read the other document inside. _

_Make up your mind and meet me on the bridge tonight at 10.00 local. I'm counting the minutes, as I'm sure you don't have to. _

_Harm._

Shaking, Mac read the letter again and had to sit down before pulling out the other piece of paper in the envelope. Her heart missed a beat when she recognized it.

Request for immediate discharge for Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb jr., United States Navy.

They were already signed. Ready to process if he wanted to. If SHE wanted to.

10.01 Local

She was late by one minute and he was now seriously afraid she wouldn't show up. While punctuality was not his strong side, it was one of hers. 10.02 now and still no sign of her approach. Another chip of his heart was irrevocably torn away.

Sadly, he looked down at his uniform, where his wings had been only hours before, feeling more lost than ever before.

He'd reported himself on the bridge and without hesitation told the Captain of his daring plan. It the good man was questioning his mental health (which he probably did), he didn't let on. He just complied with a shrug and told Harm he hoped he wouldn't have to leave his ship as a civilian.

Without ado, the Captain returned to his duties, leaving Harm to his own devices.

The door behind him opened and he his breath escape with a huff. Only to find the same ensign standing nervously next to him. Quickly, he answered the salute the boy gave him.

"Sir? Excuse me sir, but Colonel McKenzie asked me to give you this message."

He took it and nodded in the general direction of the boy, who took it as permission to be dismissed and gladly turned around. Damn those officers. If he'd wanted to bring envelopes around, he would have become a mailman!

Harm, lost in thought and oblivious to any surroundings, opened the note he'd been given.

It was one simple sentence, in a familiar scribble.

_I've made up my mind…come to vulture's row. _

Throwing a salute to he captain, he didn't wait for it to be returned and practically ran to his favorite spot on the ship. He felt her presence before he saw her. He opened his mouth to speak, but she silenced him with her fingertips against his lips.

"Later."

She had something in her hand and stepped closer to him. Careful not to sting him, she pinned the aviator wings back where they belonged.

"Mac?"

Again, she didn't let him finish. Instead, she held out his resignation letter in front of him, slowly tearing it to pieces, before throwing it overboard where they were soon swallowed by the waves.

"I just wanted to know." Her voice was hoarse and only now did he see she'd been crying.

"Now you do. Sarah…"

His words were barely a whisper, but she heard and understood them.

"I love you, Sarah."

"I love you too, Flyboy."

"Flyboy?"

"Always. I would never take your wings. You can have both."

"Both?"

"Wings…and me."

At that, he crushed her against his chest and planted his lips on hers in a 7-G's kiss…

THE END

_So? Worth your time?_


End file.
